Thursday, January 28, 2016

Acceptance is Beautiful

So thankful for the very special people that have entered our lives who have been deemed a "buddy" by my #ASD youngest. They are the people that just accept him and enjoy him and embrace who he is; they have been our own personal savior at times without knowing it, and I mean that sincerely. Yesterday was a very difficult day for Z, lots of stress and triggers and challenges. As his "everything should be happy and good" thinking struggled to fix all the things that went wrong he just was so overwhelmed and had a headache and was dizzy and nervous. When he realized it was Jeff day he wanted to go see his CVS buddy, but was so stressed that we almost left the store as fast as we got there when he didn't see J right when we got in. 

I found someone to ask if J was there and when the answer was yes and that he just stepped to the counter, the smile that appeared on Z's face brought tears to my eyes. They laughed and talked like always. Everyone that works at the store (or almost everyone) knows Z and they welcome him and they know J is his buddy. This guy (J) always makes time for Z and/or has Z go around the store with him as he works. I can't count how many times I've tried getting Z to let J work because I'd worry he was bugging J, and both of them would do the "oh mom" eye roll. Jeff and all of Zach's special buddies over the years, have had incredible impacts on Z's life and therefore also on this grateful Mama's world. 

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Movie Meltdown

When you go from him having the most amazingly terrific day to him having one of the biggest meltdowns he's ever had, you're quickly brought back to autism. He pinched a nerve in his neck--you know that feeling, it happens to everyone; but for him it was wrong, it shouldn't happen on such a good day and it was scary and devastating. 

We had hoped he'd relax once in the theater to see Star Wars with his sister. I dropped them off and went to a much put off (years) vision exam for glasses. The bright side is the phone didn't ring until the exam was actually over (about 30 minutes into the movie); sister called to come pick them up and I could hear him crying in the background. Got my contacts back in and rushed over. 

Poor both of them. She was so disappointed about the movie AND for her brother and yes for herself too, and he was just totally and completely in the throes of anxiety. He could not understand why it hurt so much and why I couldn't fix it right then and there and was certain he was going to barf or die, or both lol.  

Motrin is starting to help and with pain relief is coming the beginnings of reality for him which translates to remorse and regrets, both things which are sure to fuel more stress and fallout, but less than this initial round today. He keeps bringing up feeling bad for his sister, then changing the subject as he tries to turn everything back positive again. 

My heart hurts for both of them. All will be better and happy again, my heart just aches for both of them tonight. 

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Life Lessons by Zach: Different is Good!

He told me to come look at what he did. "See the Knights not colored? Now look at my Knight." He floored me again. #WordstoLiveBy #DifferentisGood #OutsidetheBox #Autism #ASD 

Monday, May 25, 2015

Memorial Day 2015

Wishing everyone a beautiful unofficial kickoff to summer and hoping your beach/pool/barbecue days are filled with laughter and joy as they should be--but try to take a moment to remember why we celebrate this day.

Each and every time I hear "Arlington" by Trace Adkins, I cry, such a beautiful song and perfect to bring us to the meaning of the day:

Writer(s): Jeremy N. Spillman, Dave Turnbull
Copyright: Songs Of The Village, New Sea Gayle Music, Emi April Music Inc., Universal Music Corp. 

I never thought that this is where I'd settle down,
I thought I'd die an old man back in my hometown,
They gave me this plot of land, me and some other men, for a job well done,
There's a big white house sits on a hill just up the road,
The man inside he cried the day they brought me home,
They folded up a flag and told my mom and dad, we're proud of your son

And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property,
I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of company,
I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done,
I can rest in peace, I'm one of the chosen ones, I made it to Arlington

I remember daddy brought me here when I was eight,
We searched all day to find out where my granddad lay,
And when we finally found that cross,
He said, "son this is what it cost to keep us free" Now here I am,
A thousand stones away from him,
He recognized me on the first day I came in,
And it gave me a chill when he clicked his heels, and saluted me.

[Repeat Chorus]

And every time I hear twenty-one guns,
I know they brought another hero home to us

We're thankful for those thankful for the things we've done,
We can rest in peace, 'cause we are the chosen ones,
We made it to Arlington, yea dust to dust,
Don't cry for us, we made it to Arlington

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Sports Unity Program

Sounds of laughter amidst applause and cheers. Just what you'd expect to hear at a youth sports activity--but not always what you'd expect to find in a special needs sports program. My heart soars with joy each and every week we are here.

We started with the Marlton Sports Unity Program (SUP) for winter basketball. Z didn't really want to try basketball but after finding out some of his Lenape "boys" were basketball players he agreed to at least try. He wouldn't smile at check in and hung back just a bit once inside the gym, but not more than 5 minutes in a couple of the adult buddies had him out on the court and playing.
He stayed involved and interested the whole season and, when he found out they were giving out trophies one night at practice he lamented "why do they have to stop?"

Getting his trophy from the VERY special
and awesome Coach Dave
I found out there would be SUP track in the spring along with soccer (his favorite sport). I told him I'd signed him up and waned him to just give it a try. As much as he didn't want to try basketball was minimal compared to how he felt about track. April brought the beginning of track and he was nervous about starting. His buddy was laid back but welcoming and encouraging and he was off to give it a try. Now not only does he keep trying but he is working hard to excel! This boy, who hated any kind of running now trying each and every activity leaves me speechless. Running is hard for him: he has loose ligaments and very low muscle tone which makes it exhausting and difficult to run, and the jolting of running along with that feeling of speed (noises of even the wind rushing past/losing a feeling of control over his environment ) are menaces to his sensory system. Yet I see him having a blast and enjoying each moment!
Coach Scott getting in on the action to show Z technique,
with buddy Karly right by his side.

Coach Scott giving loads of one on one tips
for the Javelin throw
Z keeps working hard for Coach Scott, and his
awesome buddy Lindsey.

  Obstacle course running
High fives after javelin work ;)

The buddies with SUP must attend a training session where they are educated about things they may experience with the special needs kids and how to address many different potential problems (redirect, soothe, comfort, or even disengage WITH their player from the activity, among many others). They are also told they will not have cell phones out, will not be seen inactive or without their player, and WILL not be tolerated if seen laughing at/about a player. The training shows. These kids, each and every one a volunteer, show more compassion, acceptance, and enthusiasm than many paid adults I've experienced in the special needs fields! 

Mark VonBerg began and runs the Marlton Sports Unity Program which includes the activities of soccer, track, basketball, karate, cheerleading, and soon introducing street hockey. Did I mention every program run through Sports Unity Program is FREE? Thanks doesn't begin to cover it but I'll say it anyway,